Jennifer Gill Fordham | Educator, Public Speaker & Singer

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I Love A Good Funeral

I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul shall make its boast in the Lord;
The humble shall hear of it and be glad,
Oh, magnify the me,
And let us exalt His name together.

Psalm 34: 1-3


I love a good funeral. Yep, you heard me correctly. I love a good funeral. It is something about me that I don’t tell everyone. I have to know that you know me and love me first before I drop that crazy bit of revealing knowledge on you. Still, I love a good funeral.

I am not insensitive to the plight of the family that is going through tremendous hurt. I hate when people die. Believe me, I have been on the front row of a funeral more times than I would choose. My sister was killed in a car accident 3 months after she served as my Matron of Honor. My father battled with prostate cancer and lost. I watched my mother die of a debilitating case of dementia. And recently, my brother-in-law Van succumbed to a 2 week battle with the Coronavirus. I have watched death's cruel hand shrink my family photo one by one. It is so painful to live through. I hate death. Nonetheless, I love a good funeral.

In fact the hardest thing for me to adjust to after being a stay at home mom for 14 years and then reentering the workforce was the fact that I couldn’t attend funerals. Seriously. I mourned that. I wanted to be there. I wanted my loved ones to see me standing there with them. I wanted to be supportive to those going through great pain. But that’s not the only reason I wanted to be there. I also wanted to be there because I love a good funeral.

I have it bad ya’ll. One day as I was getting my walking steps in at First Baptist Church a hearse drove up and parked in front of the building. I watched the well dressed funeral directors exit their cars and then carry the casket into the church. I had to know who was in that casket! I was on the phone with my niece Caprice and she was yelling at me in a strong voice, “No Aunt Jenny, you can’t go in there! You can’t go in there!” I didn’t promise her that I wouldn’t. In the middle of my nieces pleading my friend Donna beeped in and I clicked over and told her the story. I told her in a “Can you believe Caprice?" kind of tone. And to my surprise she too took a stern voice with me too, “You can not go in there!” She said it like I needed an intervention or something. But I had to go inside because I love a good funeral.

So yes, I did go into that church sweaty and all and it was beautiful. I had never seen pictures lined up and down the hallways of the church before. I learned so much about this man just by looking at the pictures. I found out that he was a veteran that served in the Korean War. After the war he founded a brick building business that is still flourishing today. He was married to his wife for over 50 years. He had two sons and a daughter and many grandchildren. I saw love written all over their faces as I peered through the glass during family hour.

I did not stay. I felt underdressed in my sneakers and workout clothes; so I missed my favorite part of a funeral. I missed hearing the wonderful words that people would say about him. I missed the good stories that they would tell. I missed the tears rolling down their cheeks as they praised his good works. I missed the eulogies.

When you look up the word eulogy in the dictionary it says "a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly, typically someone who has just died." In Greek Eulogy means "A good word." And maybe because my love language is words of affirmation, I love a good funeral because a good one is full of good words! I love a good word! I love hearing the good words about people from people that love them. My eyes well up when I'm hearing about what an impact the deceased has made in their lives. My body gets chills when the secret sacrifices that one has made for others are revealed. And even though eulogies are typically given at funerals, I often wish that that wasn't typical at all. I wish that eulogies were given when people were alive to hear them.

I have so many people that I could give a eulogy, a good word, for. I would give a good word to the lady who held my baby every Saturday afternoon, so this young mother could get a nap. I would praise the lady who gave us free babysitting every week for years so that my husband I could go out on a date. I would praise my neighbor who sneaks and cuts my front yard before it grows high enough for us to get it to it. I would give a good word to the family that always includes us on the 4th of the July and other holidays knowing that we can't always be near family. I would praise the people who tell me that the Holy Spirit told them to put some money on my children's Pine Forge Academy bill. The list goes on and on when I think about the people who have offered me loyal friendships and sacrificial deeds; people who have just been plain 'ole good to me. I need to give my eulogies now.

Yet, when I think about the people who I need to give a eulogy to now, I can't help but think about God. What would I say if I were asked to give a eulogy for Him? How would I choose the stories to tell? Oh my goodness, it would be too much! There’s no way I could keep my remarks to the classic 2 minutes! The preacher would have to stand beside me and try to pull me off the stage. Someone would have to play the end of speech Academy Award music or just turn off my mic altogether. There would not be enough time to tell of all His good works! Where would I even start?

I would have to tell about how He miraculously kept me when my sister died and I thought I was going to lose my mind. I would have to tell how even though by all American standards, no household in this day and age could live off one income, He provided everything we needed and most things we wanted for 14 years on a pastor's salary. I would tell you how He has helped my family fight and win against generational curses that seemed insurmountable. I would tell how He has walked me through every difficult decision in life. I would tell you how He stood beside me during every hard trial in my life. I would tell how He was patient with me when He forgave me but I wasn't so forgiving of others. I would tell how He prepared me for every stage that I have had to stand on. Everything I have lacked He has has supplied. He has been my strength whenever I was weak. Andre' Crouch said it best when he said, "He's been my closest friend down through the years and every time I cried He dried all my tears." He's been so faithful!

And that’s not all. I haven’t even gotten to the fact that He saved me. That He died for me. That He lives in me.

The good news is that I don't have to wait to give God a eulogy!

I can bless the Lord at all times. His praise can continually be in my mouth, My soul can make its boast in the Lord, The humble will hear it and be glad. Oh, please magnify the Lord with me. Let us exalt his name together.

Let's take the time to give God a eulogy today!